I usually try to keep it pretty positive here in this space…even when talking about my struggles. Some days, it’s harder to stay positive than others. Today is one of those days…
Today, I’m not a happy camper…
For about a year or two, I have had some issues with my GI system – and, honestly, the issues could have started sooner, I just never paid attention…
but, in the past two years I have had no, or inadequate, healthcare.
Now, I have begun to get it figured out; and, the answers aren’t my favorite & solutions have yet to be found or actually work.
While I’m going through all of this, so is Baby Seester, but on a greater scale…And no one seems to be able to figure out what’s wrong with her. Her pain is near intolerable.
As the big sister, I want to do whatever I can to help…but, I often have to say, “sorry, I need to go home to take care of xyz first”…
having to try to eradicate my own pain and ill-health, because you can’t care for others if you are unable to care for yourself.
I work in a helping profession – long hours focused on others. And, recently, I’m not even sure how I’m making it through my days.
I’m tired of waking up feeling less than my best, but knowing I need to give my best.
I am doing what is asked of me so far:
cut out gluten? Check.
Take an iron supplement? Check.
Go see a GI specialist? Check.
I just hope they figure it out soon.
But, I have learned a few things during this time:
- Our bodies really are temples. Designed to run in specific ways given specific fuels. It’s our job to take care of them – and that means eating well, sleeping, exercising, and caring for our mental well-being. Many days, I’m not very good at any of these things.
- Self care is so important. This goes along with not being able to care for others if I can’t care for myself. I have to make sure I am not dragged into an anxious panic, a depressed slump, or a combo tornado of doom (and, yes, though it has been a very long time since, this has been known to happen). But, I have to be clear, so I can show up & help others. Sometimes, that means taking a day, or an hour, or even 5 minutes driving around with a Christmas song playing in October.
- I am so glad I live near all my work locations. I can go home to eat & take meds. I get the comforts of home, even if just for 5 minutes, to reset.
- I’m a bit indecisive: I am so thankful to be single, so as not to have to worry about anyone else at this time, or have anyone worry about me/see me like this. BUT, at the same time, I feel like it would be nice to have a partner in all of this…I know, it’s a crazy catch-22, but I’m a girl, and that’s how we roll sometimes…
- The Joy of the Lord really is my strength (Nehemiah 8:10; Psalm 28:7). Because, even when I say I don’t know how I make it through the day, I know. It is His strength in me. It is His peace & assurance. It is the people He has placed in my life & the work He has blessed me with. Without Him, I am nothing, and my ill-working body would be my undoing. It really is in Him that I live & breathe & have my being (Acts 17:28). So, I show up & work with all that I have, because it is Him that I am working for; not me, not others (Ecclesiastes 9:10; 1 Corinthians 10:31; Colossians 3:23; Philippians 2:14-16).
So, yeah, today, I’m not a happy camper…
But, the Joy of the Lord is my strength.
My life: struggles, failures, and all, is for HIS Glory, and His alone.
And, Tomorrow, I may have more answers after the GI dr…until then, feel free to leave some of your favorite gluten free/iron rich food tips below (if you have any).
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