“Is it Safe…?”

I recently posted about some of the new things that would pop up here on my blog. I called it “new directions,” when, really, it’s just a new addition.

After reading a facebook link to that post describing it’s content, my dad asked me, “is it safe to talk about your struggle with depression so out there like that?” (Or, something very close to this).

He hadn’t yet read the post, and I’m not sure he has read many of my posts. (But, I would hope that he would be able to.)

“Is it safe…” 

My initial reaction to this question was confusion…what did he mean, is it safe? (I’m not sure, but it’s a little late, seeing as Depression is the major theme of my upcoming novel.)

My second reaction was something akin to when the children talk to the Beavers in Narnia and ask if Aslan is safe. They respond incredulous, “Safe! Of course he’s not safe! But, he’s good.” (C.S. Lewis, The Lion, Witch & the Wardrobe.)

Yeah, my heart did that. Of course this may not be safe. Of course there are risks involved in bearing my soul to whomever wanders across my blog. But, it’s good and right. Otherwise, the years of pain and agony I dealt with, the dark cloud that wouldn’t leave me alone, the death that was so near my door, would all have been for naught.

God did not do that to me…

But, He did bring me through it. Here I am on the other side of darkness, awakened from a nightmare that suffocated me for over ten years (and I am 23, so it knows no age limits); and on this side of things, I see how He can use it to help others. But…He can’t use it if I won’t speak.

Just as I have been readying my heart to add Mental Health issues to the topics on my blog, helping others see that they don’t have to have Christianity apart from Psychology or vice-versa, I have also been struck by fear. This could put me in the cross hairs. I could hurt my family (those who never knew what I went through or refused to acknowledge it), and I could offend people in the Church and people in the Psychology profession.

But, write it I must. It is His call for me, and I know it.

And, just when I wonder if it’s “ok” to write something so dangerous, I opened the newsletter from  Jeff Goins, a writer who inspires other writers. His e-mail? Well, it was all about how the world needs dangerous writing.

Not only was this an encouragement, but it help solidify everything that has been sloshing around in my heart.

Thus, I will continue, through the fear, and keep on in this “New Direction,” even if it means only one person is helped, that is well worth it. Look soon for a more in depth look at my journey. That is where I’ll start, and then keep moving from there.

Honestly, my passion lies in helping others like me, who are going through what I went through (and what I still sometimes face with anxiety). If that is you or someone you know, I want to help – not just as a Christian or as a student of Psychology, but as one who has walked where you are walking. Please, reach out to someone, you do not have to go it alone. Leave a comment or email me: candice @ angelinkilluminations.com, or talk to someone you trust. And know: You Are Loved. I am praying for each person that reads this.

4 thoughts on ““Is it Safe…?”

  1. Candice, you are an amazing, talented, beautiful woman of God and He has graced you with this wonderful and powerful testimony for a reason. I was the very same way, so afraid that if I spoke the truth no one would believe me, and some didn't and still don't, but He has shown me that that is okay, because the amount of people I affected in a positive way far outweighed the nay-sayers. I look forward to reading your book, as I am writing my own, and I look forward to reading your posts, as I also have one of my own.God bless,Michele


  2. Thanks so much Michele. I have been over to your blog a few times and you have wonderful writing yourself. Thank you for being willing to tell your story. I am excited to hear more about your book as it develops. Blessings!


  3. Candice, I have walked that path intimately; suffice it to say, God is good. Sharing a bit of my story has been part of my healing too, and I so encourage you to do it! Grateful for your courage here. Can't wait to keep reading.


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