Recently, I shared a video in my group and on my socials talking about how I’m not planning to focus solely on chronically ill moms. The fact is, focusing on that kind of content was impacting me and my ability to work more fully with the moms I wanted to work with. I don’t want to be focused on my illnesses all the time, it makes it harder to decide to build a dream life – despite the illnesses.
So I want to explain why I have shifted my focus from only chronically ill moms and chronic health issues (mental and physical). Below, I’ll share a transcript of that video, so readers can also see why my focus has changed – or, rather, reverted.
So, let’s get into it. Hi I’m Candice.
I am a mental health coach – formerly Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. I coach millennial moms; and my emphasis is on burn out functional anxiety and identity in motherhood.
There was a period of time – a brief period of time in my business – when I focused on moms with chronic illness. Especially chronic physical illness, but also chronic mental health issues. And, the reason being is that I experience those myself.
Now, I really prefer to work with creator moms and that’s actually how I started this business [shifting from counseling to coaching] in the first place. Way back when, when I started this business…I know there are a few people who would say “I’ve seen you go through so many changes. What happened?”
I doubted myself. I second guessed myself. I always feel like I have to explain myself to people, like, “yes, I’m qualified to do this. I have my masters in Counseling Psychology [emphasis in Marriage & Family Therapy]. I was a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist until we moved and licenses don’t transfer that easily. And, I shifted to coaching. Yes, I am certified in coaching. I have training after training in coaching. I am also certified as an art therapy coach (not an art therapist, but using art therapy techniques in coaching).
So, I have the experience, but I doubted myself along the way and I thought who would be the best audience to coach?
And the fact is, my heart is still for moms in creative industries. Whether they run their own business, it’s a hobby, it’s a hobby business (so they work full time and do it on the side).
So, I connect with creator moms. As an author myself, as a content creator, I connect with creator moms. And, I want to focus on things that affect our mental health as moms.
That is why I shifted, because I want my focus to be on mental health coaching for moms: burn out recovery, burn out prevention, dealing with those overwhelming feelings we get, especially for those of us that are stay at home parents.
I also want to deal with things that are in creative industries. Things like: how do we process rejection? How do we handle it when we’re building our business and we have kids at home? How do we handle loneliness, overwhelm, functional anxiety where we are living in the world with anxiety. How do we handle all of those things?
And for some of us, how do we process being chronically ill on top of all of that.
So, it’s not going away. I’m not going to stop suddenly talking about chronic illnesses. But, the fact is, I was not finding fulfillment there. And, actually, I was focusing inward a lot, it it was starting to drag me down a little bit.
I was like, ugh, I’m always sick. I’m only talking to people that are sick. And, I also noticed that on days when I was not and I was like, I am not going to let this hold me back. I’m going to do this despite the migraine disorder, despite the neurological disorders, despite the PMDD, despite the fibromyalgia. I’m going to do this. I am capable. Right?
I also know there were people out there who are like, “oh, that’s internalized ableism,” and that might well be true. But, the fact is, I have no desire to constantly be in pain and letting it hold me back.
Now, there are some days when I physically can’t do anything. I’ve missed church every Sunday for the past several weeks because on Sundays my body is like, no, you’ve done too much throughout the week. Like, my body literally rejects itself on Sundays. So, the fact that I’m even sitting here talking to you is pretty amazing.
But, I didn’t want that to be my only story.
I do want to work with moms who have chronic illnesses. I want them to know they still have a space in my world. But, my messaging and my focus is going to be on creator moms.
Which is how I started out, actually. I started out being a mental health coach – a life coach – for moms in creative industry and creative ministry and creative business. That’s how I started all this. That’s where I wanted to go originally. That’s how I started my membership. That’s how I started [1-1] – I actually don’t have any one on one spots right now, but I did have.
My focus, my goal, was a membership with resources for creator moms – mostly about the mental health side of things, but also practical things that would ease some of that burden of everything else, which would calm the mental health side.
That is what I’ve revamped, and that is relaunching this week. I have my first membership call this coming Saturday, and in my group, I just did a free workshop about mindset and boundaries, especially for creator moms.
In June, I’m doing another workshop in my group about the socio-emotional side of things. I’m going to focus on burnout recovery and functional anxiety, because it’s something that has been kind of playing with me, as well. And so, I’m going to be leading that and I just didn’t want my messaging to only be the physical. I don’t want my illnesses to stop me. I don’t want to give in.
And, I told my mom this morning, I said, “I know people don’t want me to say this, but I’ve resigned myself that this is the body that I’m going to have this side of heaven. And, that just maybe God will take it away. Maybe he won’t. I don’t know. That’s just where we’re at, but I’m not going to let it hold me back.”
I know there are some people in the chronic illness space that hear that messaging and are like, “no. Internalized ableism. Not everyone can do that.”
And their right. Not everyone can do that. Some days I can’t even do that; but, in order to live the life I picture for myself now – in this new phase of life – I have to give it everything I’ve got after the illnesses. If that makes sense. Like, I have to give it all the spoons I have now that the illnesses have taken many of my spoons.
Maybe it doesn’t look like it used to. Maybe it doesn’t feel like it used to, but I still feel like I have the power. And, maybe this is foolish or delusional; but I still feel like I have the power to push forward and make things happen, despite my illnesses.
I know there are people out there who don’t like that message, and so, I’m just not willing to focus on that anymore. But, it will be part of my content.
I am a migraine sufferer. I do have fibromyalgia. I do have PMDD. I do have other neurological disorders. They still don’t know what’s going on with my GI stuff. They don’t know if it’s something all connected.
I am there. I am living that life. That is my life.
However, I don’t want that to be the focus of this business. So, if you found me through that messaging, and you’re unsure about the shift, now you know why. And, if you’re like, hm, I don’t know if I like it. No, I don’t think this is the place for me anymore. That’s okay. I am okay with that.
But, if you see this and you’re like, oh, yeah. That makes a lot of sense. I still want to create this life that I love despite my illness. Maybe this is the place for you. Maybe stick around. Maybe see what I’ve got going on.
And, if you’re like, yes, the mental health stuff, the burnout, the functional anxiety, the identity in motherhood, I connect with all of that. Stick around…and join me because that’s what we do around here.
One last thing. That will never stop being part of my story – you will still see that content – and you always have a place here if you have some kind of chronic health and mental health issue. Always, always, you have a place here.
Just know some of my messaging will be “I’m not letting this stop me. I’m not letting this hold me back.” Because I deserve to live a life that I love. (Which is why I wrote my Chronic illness guided journal. I’ll talk a more about it later).
So, I really just wanted to share that. To share my heart, because that shift is happening. And, I’ve been questioning how people are going to respond to it.
Soul Cadence Creative - Thoughts from A Creative in Mental Health 