Homesick

“I close my eyes, and I see your face. If home’s where my heart is, then I’m out of place…I’ve never been more homesick than now.”
-Mercy Me ‘Homesick’

Recently, I found all my old yearbooks. I have every one of them. From my first grade year through Senior in college.

I had so many rough years, especially junior high, I’m not sure why I kept them all – it’s the collector in me, I guess. The one who loves people & information, and refuses to throw out the good just to get rid of the bad.

Any way, when I look at the comments, even in early years, I see things like, “You’re nice.” and “Stay sweet”. As I got a little older, like junior high years, I got things like. “Good girl” and “Jesus Freak”.

Even back then, my character reflected my Creator. People knew who I identified with, and who I belonged to.

I know some of the comments were a bit – snarky. But, as I look back, I realize that even people I thought for some reason didn’t like me, actually did like me. And, even people who made fun of me had some respect for me, for being who I was and Whose I was.

Even at a young age, I knew He was…I just knew it. Over the years, I questioned His love a lot, but never that He simply is.
And, I’ve always known there is more to everything than just what we can see.

My heart has always longed for that more. Knowing I could touch it, even here on Earth. And, my heart longs for it everyday.

Over the last month, so much has happened. Moving back “home” from “home” made me really want to take a look at what that was, exactly. And, there are a lot of times that I really do feel like I’m home here, even without having my own place. Even though that goal keeps getting put off. Some days, though, I question it all. Questioning where I really fit, and where  my heart really calls home (hint, it’s both places…)

“Homesick” – even on days when I feel out of place here, though, I know that since I am walking out His will, I am home. He is my home. My home is with him.

And, that is where my heart truly longs to be.

Which is why this is my last Finding Home post. Two posts shy – though I’ve already missed the point of writing 31 days straight – since I’m veering off to tackle something I deeply feel He’s called me to, I know that is home for me.

In the next few days, I will be introducing my new direction here. I know many of you will be excited about it, and I am looking forward to sharing it. I have, up til now, been too afraid to take it on. But, now, I plan to walk forward in courage and see what amazing things God does with my story from here.

And, overall, as a transition to the next thing, I really do feel as if I’ve come much closer to Finding Home, and believe it has opened my heart up to what’s next!

***Blessings, my friends***