In my last post, “Don’t dress stupid”, I quoted a line from the most recent HIMYM:

“The real challenge is walking up to a [girl] I’ve never met before and somehow talking to her with words from my mouth…”


When I’m with my friends or coworkers, I often find myself saying, “yeah, and I’m the quiet one in my family!” They rarely believe me, unless they’ve spent any time with my family.

School. Work. Church. I have no problem making friends, talking, and laughing in these places. 

And why?


I have all the confidence in myself when it comes to these areas. Therefore, I make friends and converse pretty easily.

This probably explains why my Undergraduate years were some of my most confident and why I was able to make friends with a lot of different kinds of people. School, work, church, they were all combined, all part of the community I belonged to.

At work, I can easily strike up a conversation with coworkers, at school, with fellow students. In the check out line or at a restaurant, I can be very friendly with the checker or the waiter.

But, to someone having coffee at a Starbucks? Hanging at a party? Studying at the library?

The challenge is somehow “talking to [him] with words from my mouth…”

Somehow, I feel a little bit like I may be imposing on their life…or, I don’t know this person, why should we talk…or, how do I talk to someone I don’t know?

In those situations, I definitely keep to myself: partly because I just prefer it that way, but also because I don’t really have the confidence to just walk up to someone and start talking to them…

On Tuesday, I got to hang out with Cousin’s friend, K. I’ve only met K a few times before this, but she’s sweet as can be, and carries herself boldly. We talked about the confidence needed to be open & friendly. Confidence I have in my work & school life, but that I need to have in other areas also. 

K asked me what I thought my best features are, and shared her own observations.

On the list went things like: my hair, my eyes, my teeth (yes, I really like my teeth :), my kindness, my passion, my intelligence.

Now, I just need to own my strengths & my best assets, and remember that they are part of me in every situation.

K also gave good advice about how to carry myself with confidence, something I think she probably does pretty well in her own life. We talked about what it’s like to just start up a conversation with someone, say, while studying at Starbucks. 

I don’t feel like I’m ready to do something like that, but I suppose people can still meet that way.

All of this is just part of the journey. It’s a good exercise in confidence. A bold reminder that I am a multi-faceted person enjoying this crazy journey called life, and I can enjoy meeting new people in many situations. 

A gentle push to be confident in who I am. 

After all, it’s just as Josie says in Never Been Kissed:

“Find out who you are and try not to be afraid of it.”

If you have been enjoying my posts, let me know. Have any questions? Leave them below. Have any comments, feel free to share. Are you on your own crazy dating adventure? I’d love to hear about it 🙂

11 thoughts on “Confidence

  1. I want to know what your dating platforms are going to be? What your approach online & everyday encounters will be? Will you be asking anyone out or is your goal to be asked out? Are you going to do a whole self make over or is your goal to just not 'dress stupid'? What exactly are you looking for besides a date? What are you looking to find or change about your self to reach this goal?Do you like being called 'Unicorn Betty'?


  2. First and foremost, I am looking for a Christian…and if you mean the type of guy I'd ultimately like to end up with: someone who is passionately in love with Christ. Someone with a heart of integrity & loyalty. Beyond that, I'm trying to stay open – but I tend to like nerds & I tend to like country boys.As for a first date, I honestly haven't a clue what I want to do; but I want to be able to have fun and just get to know the other person.


  3. Wow! So many great questions Jaclyn…I'll start with, yes, actually, I do enjoy being called “Unicorn Betty”. I may be on a dating site & I'm open to a blind date or two (or a few) from people I REALLY TRUST… Online or in everyday situations, I just want to be open, smile, be receptive and confident.As for the goals of this endeavor: whether or not I will ask someone out or just hope to be asked, what I hope to get out of the experience (besides a date), make-overs & stuff, I will be addressing in upcoming posts. Some are answered in a post I have already started writing, so stay tuned! 🙂


  4. I love reading your journey! I see you as this wonderfully talented, beautiful and smart young woman, but I see the insecurities, too. I am praying for you as you take this journey.I just ask that you are careful on this journey, that any “Online” dates you set up are set in a very public place and as a double-date to keep yourself as safe as possible (yes, I know I watch too many crime shows like “Web of Lies” and am over-protective because of it.)


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