Momma’s Heart: the Kind of Mom I Am

Honestly, I am struggling a lot lately. Everywhere I look, moms are tearing each other down.
Believers are divided over things they have no business being divided over.
Women are destroying other women.

We are divided and fighting over things that we have no business fighting over, commenting on, or caring about (when it comes to someone else).
And, it’s honestly destroying me inside. Maybe it’s the pregnancy hormones, or maybe it’s just because it’s sad that certain things are keeping us from genuine, loving, compassionate fellowship with one another.

So, I just wanted to share what kind of mom I am – what I do as a mom, what I stand for.

• I gave birth naturally (straight out my body into the world with my pushing), with the help of my husband and an epidural. I didn’t have an episiotomy, but wouldn’t have declined one were it needed. I also wouldn’t have declined a c-section, were one needed in an emergency.
• We tried breastfeeding and it didn’t work. I felt like a failure until I saw my baby began to thrive. Now, I refuse to feel guilty for giving my baby what she needed to survive, grow, and thrive.
• We co-slept, many nights through bed sharing. I followed the advice of women around the world to make it safe. Then we co-slept with her in our room until 1 year old. We’ll co-sleep with baby boy in our room, too, just likely not in our bed.
• I do believe in vaccines. Yet, if I had more of a choice – that wasn’t driven by insurance and doctor selection – I would choose a modified schedule. But, given our situation, my choice is vaccines on schedule or no medical care for my kids. Obviously, I’ll choose the former.
• I’m PRO-LIFE. Despite believing in the use of vaccines, I am completely PRO-LIFE. For me, this includes many issues, but among them, I’m anti-abortion & anti-death penalty. I don’t get to choose the value of someone’s life.
• That said, I will fight to the death to protect my home and my children.
• I believe in Biblical womanhood. Not a patriarchal idea of “Biblical womanhood”, but actual Biblical Womanhood, as evidenced in both the Old and New Testaments. This is a complicated subject I have a lot more to say about in an upcoming post (or few posts). I plan to raise my children to live Biblical, Christ centered lives, as well.
• I work from home. Meaning, I help support my family while also caring for my children. I do bring in an income. I combine it with my husband’s, and that’s how we support our family.
• I plan to home school when we get old enough, while also making sure my children get exposure to the world & social situations. I don’t believe in hiding, sugar coating, or sticking our head in the sand. But, I do believe in giving my children the best educational experience without forcing them to sit for hours a day or be in a box.
• My husband and I are planting a church together, because we were both called to ministry. I won’t apologize for that.
• We use disposable diapers, clean with natural cleaners, feed our daughter what we eat, even if it’s a fast food meal. We watch too much TV right now due to momma having a rough pregnancy, but even so, will probably watch more TV than most approve of once we are able to get into a new groove.
• We believe in medicine and in natural remedies. I do my research, and won’t put my kids’ lives at risk for either type of intervention (as far as in my control).
• My husband and I share the load of housekeeping and child-rearing. We are a partnership. That’s how it works.

And, I welcome you, momma. Momma’s who vaccinate and those that don’t. You are welcome to be around my kiddos, if you choose. Just, no matter who you are, don’t touch their hands or kiss their face, mk?

I welcome you, momma. Momma’s who believe in all things crunchy, and those who don’t even know what crunchy is, aside from the cheeto they just shoved in their kid’s hand.

I welcome you, momma. Momma’s who breastfeed successfully, who were unsuccessful at it, or who chose to formula feed because that’s just what they wanted.

I welcome you, momma. Momma’s who gave birth in hospitals and those who chose to give birth at home. If you tell me you’re choosing a home birth, naturally, I will support you, only recommending you have a medical professional on stand-by just in case. Because you and baby deserve to be healthy. But, all things considered, you birth how you choose. It’s hard enough to birth a baby, do it how you’re most comfortable, girl.

I welcome you, momma. Momma’s who cloth diaper, or use disposable diapers. Those who choose Elimination Communication or who potty train early or late.

I welcome you, momma. Mommas who stay at home, work from home, work out of the home. Mommas who use a daycare, a nanny, or are the sole care-takers. We all work so hard.

I welcome you, momma. Mommas who are single, mommas in a relationship, mommas who are married. We are all doing great momma work, and I pray we’d somehow all find support.

I welcome you, momma. Mommas who homeschool or utilize charter schools or send their kids to private school or public school. Even those mommas who unschool.

I welcome you, momma. Mommas who never do screen time or who find their houses inundated with screens.

I welcome you, momma. Mommas who eat a lot of fast food and microwave dinners, and mommas who cook healthy meals every night. Look at us making sure our kids get fed!

Look, I simply don’t care. As long as you aren’t trying to shame me for my decisions of how to mother, I will promise to welcome you and do my best to encourage, not shame, you. Your decisions are yours and you believe they are best for your family.

Of course, if I see abuse, or neglect, or a blatant disregard for safety of children, there is something that likely needs to be said.

But, overall, none of these areas above show an area of abuse or neglect, so you won’t find those corrections here.

You’ll just find welcoming. You’ll just find community. And, a defense of your choices, even if they differ from mine.

Why?

Because you have every right to determine which of these choices is best for you, best for your family.
I know we prayerfully consider which decisions work for our family, and I trust that everyone else has their own way of determining that for their own family.

So, what kind of mom am I?
I am a Christ-following, ministry leading, slightly crunchy, slightly modern, somewhat traditional, work from home, pro-life, future homeschooling, planning to potty train early, co-sleeping, formula feeding, fast food feeding, TV watching, music playing, egalitarian (in home and ministry), vaccinating mom.
One who welcomes and encourages moms who are similar and moms who don’t agree at all, assuming they will welcome and encourage me, too.