Wake Up (Ascent from Madness)

Tonight is 5 Minute Friday night – It’s been a very long & trying week.

I’ve prayed over situations, asking God to move so that my weak faith would be supported by sight, and those situations all seem to have only gotten worse…But, I continue to do as Lauren Daigle’s song suggests:

“When You don’t give the answers as I cry out to You…I will trust in You.” – LD ‘Trust In You’

So, for tonight’s 5 Minute Friday, I bring another portion of flash fiction – a removal of feelings from my own life onto paper in fiction form. The word? Common

If one more person tells me this is a common feeling, I’m going to lose it…

They all seem to think they know that feeling – the out of body, this isn’t my life, am I living a dream or nightmare feeling that follows me day in and day out.

I go to sleep and wake up to it – at least, on the nights I’m lucky enough to go to sleep.

Maybe it is a common occurrence…but not like this. And, when I explain it further, they look at me with that look. The look that says, “this girl is crazy”. So, I keep it to myself.

And, rather than focusing on this major difference I have with those around me, I’m gonna be thankful for what I do have in common with them: the love of a good fall breeze, country songs, moonlight, and words.

*BUZZ* my phone lights up with his name.

My heart soars and sinks simultaneously. I desperately wish to snap out of this feeling, so I can feel, otherwise, I’m so disconnected from him along with myself.

God, let me snap out of it…my heart cries as I pick up my phone to respond.

Nothing changes. I just continue on willing myself to change, “feeling” & mind entering a battle of wills, knowing which would win, and unable to do anything about it.

*BUZZ* another message.

God, just something, something of connection. Please. He makes me so happy, I know he does. But, I am so disconnected. This isn’t life, right? It’s supposed to be different? Wake me up. Wake up my heart, please…

One thought on “Wake Up (Ascent from Madness)

  1. Candice, I am happy to have read your words for they reveal your heart and it is common with mine in many ways. Even though feelings and heartaches and desires are common to all, they are uniquely our own. I get it. I really do. May you find unique peace and wisdom only Christ can give. I too at this time am seeking it. Visiting from FMF #59.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s